Laughter really is the best medicine!
Golden Wedding Anniversary
A couple was celebrating their Golden Wedding Anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay , Jamaica.
Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, 'What a peaceful & loving couple.'
The local Newspaper Reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
The Husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America,' explained the man. 'We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona,
and took a trip down to the bottom of the Canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell
off.
My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.'
We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you *%&#@$ crazy!?'
She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's once.'
And from that moment.....
We have lived happily every after...
And that's all I have to say about that.'
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, Walter and his wife, Ann, listened to the instructor declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the
things that are important to each other.' He then addressed the men, 'Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?' Walter leaned over,
touched Ann's arm gently, and whispered, 'Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?'
And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.
Anniversary troubles
Frank was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him 'Tomorrow morning,
I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds – AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!
The next morning Frank got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure
enough, there was a box, gift-wrapped, in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to
the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Frank has been missing since Friday.
Understanding the 9 phrases that women use
- Fine:
- This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
- Five Minutes:
- If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
- Nothing:
- This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'nothing' usually end in 'fine'.
- Go Ahead:
- This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
- Loud Sigh:
- This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
- That's Okay:
- This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
- Thanks:
- A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
- Whatever:
- It's a woman's way of saying STUFF YOU!
- Don't worry about it, I got it:
- Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.)
Wife's old indian name
A man asked an old Indian what his wife's name was.
He replied "Wife's name is Three Horse."
"That's an unusual name for your wife – Three Horse – What does it mean?" the man replied.
"It's an old Indian name means.... Nag – Nag – Nag"
For more information on the health benefits of laughter check out Laughter is the Best Medicine.
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